Seriously, Kid. You're Killing Me.

Yesterday morning, Keith left for work, and Emmy was happily dressed and eating some breakfast while watching PBS cartoonage. I hopped in the shower, and just as I was about to turn the water off, she ran into the bathroom and announced that she had to go potty. She's done this routinely, and makes a big deal about getting essentially all the way undressed again, only to produce nothing. So, I told her to go ahead and pull down her pants and sit down. She sat, for about 30 seconds. By this time, I was stepping out of the shower and starting to dry off. She hopped up, and ran out of the bathroom with only a shirt and shoes on. Being naked, I didn't run after her. I asked her to come back in so we could put on a diaper, and heard her yell, "NO!" from somewhere in the house. Not 30 seconds later, she appeared at the bathroom door, and said sheepishly, "Mommy, I pooped!". When I looked at her, I was a little taken aback, as she was literally COVERED with poop! Her hands, her legs, her butt....ugh! I asked her WHERE she pooped, and she said, "the kitchen, but don't worry, Daddy will clean it up when he gets home". Oh, really, wouldn't THAT be nice! I asked her to sit on the potty, and NOT to put her hands in her mouth. At this point, I'm still dripping wet from the shower. Quickly dried off, wrapped up in the towel and tried to find the poop, which was somewhere in my house. Couldn't find it, and ran back to start getting the little shit cleaned up. So gross. She kept saying, "don't put poop in your mouth, Mommy! It's yucky!". Thanks, kiddo. Once she was cleaned up, I dressed quickly and went poop hunting again. Found a mountain of it in front of the fireplace, followed by a trail when she started to run. NOT a good way to start your morning. I had to call Keith at work to let him know what a little crapper his daughter was, and what he missed out on. Oh man, this potty-training is going to kill me!