Sunday, March 18, 2007

What I Wish Someone Had Told Me...

I am finding there are several things about having a newborn that no one felt compelled to share with me prior to delivery. These are things I probably would have liked to know beforehand, as I generally like to be prepared (at least mentally) for what is ahead. Maybe it's a consipracy among women...don't tell the newbie what she's REALLY in for, or else those wacky pregnancy hormones will tip her over the edge! Or, that brand new mom is so tired, she couldn't possibly want to know the REAL DEAL about the first 6 weeks postpartum! Humph!

I still say I would have liked to know beforehand how hard breastfeeding was going to be, and that it's an ongoing process of tweaking to try to get it right. Or that newborns have to eat every 2-3 hours, and soon, your whole existence revolves around feeding this little creature...once your done, it's almost time to start right over again. No one told me about flying poop or that baby girls can shoot pee just like a boy. I think it's mean that newborns can't smile at you yet. It would be so nice to have just a little positive feedback from this person you are pouring so much effort into. "That's great, Mom, keep up the good work. Your efforts are duly noted and much appreciated." Also, how about the importance of trying to establish a routine early on, so that you have some sort of predictability to your day. Or that there's a big difference between being on a schedule, and being on a routine. No one really tells you what the aftermath of delivery will be on your body, that your belly becomes a bowl of jelly, or that your nipples get so sensitive that you can't even stand the cat to brush against you. How about sharing that babies will change your relationship with your spouse, and that suddenly you really have to make an effort to acknowledge each other in a meaningful way on a daily basis. Marriage pre-baby was all about each other, and for right now, it seems to be all about baby.

On the flip side, no one told me how much I would love the smell of our baby after her bath, or delight in the fluffiness of her hair after a shampoo. No one mentioned I would want to cry when she outgrew her first newborn sized sleeper. No one said how nice it is to see your baby in her grandparent's arms, and how happy she makes them. Or that, yes, I would be one of those Mom's who pokes her baby to make sure she's breathing while she sleeps. Or how proud I would be to take her out and show her off to the world.

I guess some things you just have to find out for yourself.

5 comments:

Sherrie said...

FYI- the compulsion to poke the baby to make sure she's breathing in her sleep doesn't stop- Joey is 10 and I still peek in on him every night before I go to bed and I don't leave the room until I see his chest rise and fall. The freaky Mom habits never stop, I fear.
Sherrie

Anonymous said...

Wow---so well put! You have such a way with words! I love to read your entries. You are so right---motherhood is so challenging, and at times overwhelming...but definitely the best thing I have ever experienced in my life!! Emerson is such a lucky baby! :)
Lori

Chad said...

I think some people tried to tell you!

I felt the same way with Sophie. I would freak out in the middle of the night that she would stop breathing. Fortunately, that never happened.

Jen said...

Stouder...are you kidding me? I think I may have mentioned a few of those things to you when my little munchkin arrived (and scarred my chest for life!)

I do agree with you that there is an evil plot against new moms to keep the secret of how tough the 1st few months are (but also how lovely it is to be a mom)...but I did try to prep you, I swear! :) I wouldn't leave my best friend hung out to dry...

Anonymous said...

you're so right! I can totally relate. Except I think if people told us beforehand we'd either a) not believe them, b) think we'll be different, or c) never have a baby in the first place! It gets easier, I swear.