Yes, I'll admit it, I'm one of THOSE Moms....you know, the ones the uber-on-top-of-it-Moms sort of shake theirs heads at while exchanging knowing glances. I'm the Mom who shows up to a play date without bringing snacks or drinks (I did feed her en route to said play date, but failed to plan ahead for what she'd be like after an hour of running around in 90 degree heat). I'm the Mom who heads out to the local park with the family and totally fails to have a change of clothes available when the kiddo has an episode of diarrhea on top of the climbing equipment (not a pretty scene driving home, let me assure you). I'm the Mom who forgets to pay the correct amount for daycare (the fee was reduced months ago, when Em aged up) and so is carrying a balance, much to the Director's dismay. I'm the Mom who's kid is covered in scars, because she can't figure out a way to get her to stop picking her scabs. I'm the Mom who lets her kid watch too many movies because sometimes, I just need some peace. It's days like these that I can really beat myself up for not planning ahead more, being better organized, or having more energy for being creative with the kid. When I really want to throw a guilt-trip party, I start adding up the hours she spends in daycare each week....oh, Lordy, it's really hard to go there.
Overall though, Emerson doesn't seem the least bit affected by my mothering gaffes. She's happy, energetic, creative, and lovable. She tells me I'm a "good Mama" and pats my shoulder affectionately. She laughs at my silly jokes, asks me to sing her night-night songs, and draws me lovely family portraits. She holds my hand regularly, whispers secrets in my ear and snuggles close on the couch. She's my kitchen helper, my morning walk partner and tells me I have cute underwear when I'm getting dressed. She cracks me up, breaks my heart and thoroughly amazes me in the span of a few short seconds.
I'll have to come to peace with occasionally dropping the ball big-time, but it's nice to know I have an automatic "pass" from the one person who matters the most.
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3 comments:
And this is why I love you so...because you are one of THOSE moms. :)
This was beautifully written Ape.
Daughters, especially seem to soothe and craze mamas, virtually at the same time! Don't worry, you have nothing to be regretful over...trust me!
April, that was a great post. I think most of us moms feel like that at some point. Lord knows I do. From what I know of Emerson from our time with all of you in NC, she's a great kid - made us smile and laugh all week. She's smart, creative and loving - and she's a 3 year old my two older girls still talk about from time to time. I'd say you and Keith are doing a great job with her!
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