I know, Mother's Day was a few days ago, this post is a tad late. Oh well. I've been thinking about motherhood, and how it's changed me over the past 3 years. How the giggle of our little girl makes me smile, and I can never tire of watching her peaceful face while she sleeps (and sucks her little thumb). This sweet girl, who talks of "happy monsters" and cries for her Daddy if she sees a bug in her room. This silly girl, who stumbles through her day with skinned knees dressed in Cinderella band-aids. This girly-girl, who wants to wear a dress everyday so she can be a ballerina. Miss Stubborn, who says, "I can do it myself!", and she can. I try so hard not to get exasperated with her when she asks me 15 questions in a row while I drive, all starting with, "Hey Mom?". Such a smart girl, who reads in bed every night and knows more Spanish than her Mommy & Daddy combined. I'm so proud of the little girl she is becoming...independent, but still will hold my hand & snuggle close. She's trying hard to write her name, and is almost there (she already can write M-O-M)! Some days, she seems so big, so old, I want to cry for the baby that is no more...then she puts her thumb in her mouth and I am assured that she's not so grown up yet. Motherhood is a strange mixture of impatience & boatloads of patience, exhaustion & exultation, fear and fierce love. Some days it makes you crazy, but I count my blessings every day that I get to experience this.
Today is Keith's big 4-0! We celebrated by going to dinner at Mama Dip's restaurant, which features traditional Southern cooking...ie, it's not terribly healthy for you! Keith wanted fried chicken legs, mashed pot & gravy and fried okra. We had a cherry pie at home, which is his favorite dessert. Emerson helped him blow out his candle as we sang Happy Birthday to her Daddy.
Recently, I decided to keep my iPod in the car, and keep it plugged in and on shuffle. I'm rediscovering music I hadn't listened to in a while, and I always marvel at how music can transport you back to a different time in life. My usual routine was to listen to NPR in the car on my morning & evening commutes to catch the news. I find that I don't miss the news. There was so much BAD news going on...even on NPR, which at times seems to sink to the level of the tabloids and report of things like Tiger Woods' poor life choices, etc. I rarely watch the evening news anymore for the same reasons...who wants to hear about another car bomb, oil spill, child abuse case, home foreclosure or whatever. Call me a bird sticking her head in the sand, but I'm tired of bad news and what feels like the public's thirst for it. What celebrity has recently broken up with a long-term partner, who found out their spouse was cheating, who got plastic surgery, gag, gag, gag.
I have enough stress and issues going on in my own life to read about the downfall of someone else's. I think it's sad that we're all becoming so immune to hearing about death, crime and ghastly acts that we don't even react to it anymore. Everything is so over-reported now that we're just inundated with information, and I for one am stepping back, disconnecting a bit, and opting not to give a shit.
I'd rather watch my daughter run through the sprinkler, listen to some long-lost music, and enjoy the beginning of summer. I'd rather use the time I spent reading on-line blogs & news pages to write a note to my 93 yr old Gram. I've been too caught up in the monotony of my daily life to enjoy what's in front of me, and foster relationships with neighbors, friends and family members. Enough.